First of all, let’s get one thing straight, dear reader: I did not try the Nexplanon implant for you. I tried it for me. But as your humble servant and guest blogger, I am more than happy to tell you about the good things Nexplanon has done for my body and my mind.
A year and a half ago, shortly after I moved to New York City, I took a ferry across the harbor to the Staten Island location of Planned Parenthood to get a prescription for the same birth control pills I’d been taking in Virginia. The nurse told me that, due to my high blood pressure reading, I should consider getting off pills containing estrogen stat. My birth control pills were putting me at an increased risk of stroke. Not a fun thing to hear.
The nurse recommended that I try either a non-hormonal method like the copper IUD or something with only the hormone progestin. She suggested the Nexplanon arm implant. The matchstick-sized plastic rod steadily discharges progestin into the body, she explained, preventing the ovaries from releasing mature eggs. It also thickens the cervical mucus to stop sperm from entering the uterus in the first place. Built to stay snuggled in the flesh of my arm for up to three years, the Nexplanon implant would be free with my health insurance.
Around this time of year, the internet blows up with Valentine’s Day posts. What to do, what to wear, what makeup to put on…it becomes quite repetitive and quite pontifical, and makes the valentine-less feel left out. Valentine’s Day, I do not need to remind you, is a holiday brilliantly created by Hallmark to drive sales of cards, chocolates, and flowers. Of course, though it’s nice to show your love and dedication to your partner on a particular day of the year, this can easily fall into traditional gender roles…and easily get super corny. After all, shouldn’t we be showing our love as much as we can? And will a trip to the store to buy a card or flowers really be a true token of love? This year, I will not be giving chocolates. I will not make dinner. I will not cut big hearts into red construction paper. I will do something fun for myself, as should you. Tough it doesn’t hurt that my partner might enjoy it as well…
Yes, I’ve decided to dye my pubic hair pink.